So I walk into 'Crap Cuts' put my name on the list and sat down. There are two 'hair dressers'. One was, Lee Ching asian lock lacerator of Xinjiang and Candy Lane of the ugly pole dancers guild.
Both hairdressers were busy with patrons. So I had the pleasure of watching their handy work in progress. No to metion I could hear the conversations that were being had.
"I have 5 dogs. The cops say that is the best way to keep intruders away from the house." said Candy. Personally I think it was more her personality that actually kept people away. So she blathered on while the patron sitting in the chair was suffering through her inane conversation. Don't get me wrong. I am the KING of inane conversations, but seriously she was speaking as if she was giving a lecture on how to be completely random while thoroughly confusing your audience.
Lee Ching on the other hand has basic conversations with her patron as english is her second language. In fact, she was quiet most of the time and to be honest... is fine with me.
I was next in line for a hair cut awaiting my folical execution. I felt like I was watching a race. The race involved two broken down cows that should have been put to pasture. Ching and Candy were trying to cut hair fast and get to the next customer.
And much to my disappointment... Ching was loosing. Candy finished up and walked over and asked for the next person whose name was on the list.
"Jeeafff"
"Shit..." The crack whore got my name and I was hers to demolish next.
So she asks me how I am doing and all the niceties. Then she asks me how I would like my hair. I said "Short on the sides and longer on top. Use the trimmer at 3 and scissors on top." Apparently what I said was "Please make my head look like something out of a Dali's The Lugubrious Game painting."
Her conversation started benign enough.
"How are you?"
"Good, and you?"
"Oh about as good... LEE, I DON'T CLEAN UP AFTER EACH CUSTOMER. I JUST LEAVE IT FOR THE OTHER GIRL. Darlin, I am tired. I asked them to cut down my hours to 4 a day cause it is too busy! "
So she begins blathering on about how she does this or that or whatever.
"Where do you live?"
"Holbrook."
"Holbrook!!! Oh wow, I live in Holbrook." Shit....
"Where in Holbrook?" Double shit.... She knows the town.
So I though for a second... I don't want this dizzy ditz knowing where I live or what street I was on. Since I am a horrible liar I have to make my lies allign with the truth.
"I live on Pine street." Which parallels my street three streets down.
Anyway, this chick went on to give me the worst haircut of my life.... That was 2 months ago... I started this blog then.... and forgot to get back to it. The story would have been better, but I forgot most of it.
Peace out.
